iamjessica

New Blog

2010-08-06T18:31:00.000-07:00

I needed to start a new blog - to many sad memories, things on this blog. It was what was happening in my life and all true but I just can't stay here. Needed a fresh start!

So - my new blog:

http://projectorange1.blogspot.com/

Come over and visit! Follow me!

love,
Jess

Raining

2010-04-21T10:41:00.000-07:00

Our house was auctioned yesterday. It was a sad day for Paul and I. It made everything really final for us. It was a day of mourning. When you picture your life - foreclosure and job loss is not part of the picture.

BACK STORY:
Paul is a teacher in California and last year due to budget cuts, Paul was laid off. This has happened for the last 3 years but Paul has always been re-hired in the Fall. I don't know if you know this but the US (and CA) economy isn't doing too well right now. It's been on the news a little bit. The wise people of the CA State government have decided the best way to fix CA is to lay-off teachers and have major budget cuts to the education system. So here we are a year later and Paul has been without steady employment. He has been substitute teaching but with so many laid off teachers, work has been, let's just say, not consistent. He even tried his hand at selling used cars! ROUGH is the word I would use to describe this last year and yesterday was the icing on the cake.

It was strange for us that yesterday was so cold and raining - it felt like God was crying with us. It was oddly comforting. When I woke up this morning the sun was shining bright in my window. I felt an in break of hope and that we were going to get through this and that God was going to be with us walking us through everyday. I'm sure my emotions will change a hundred times over the next couple weeks as we pack and move. But I know that we can do this - we will survive - we will be victorious!

On the hunt...

2010-03-23T12:50:00.000-07:00

We are on the hunt for a new place to live. One of the heart breaking side effects of Paul being out of work for 10 months now. So far we haven't had much luck and time is running out. If you pray, please pray for us.

And Here Comes #3!

2010-03-19T11:20:00.000-07:00

We are having another baby. I am 8 weeks preggers right now and just feel SICK. All the time. I am also very tired.

My iron is really low and even with extra iron supplements on top of my pre natal vitamins, it is not coming up to the normal range. Although (this crosses into TMI so go ahead and skip the next sentence if you would like) I am pooping green iron boulders. So, that has been super fun too.

I think I have my kids too far apart because I really forget about all this pregnancy stuff. I waited 5 years between the first two. And Luke and this baby are 4 years apart. It all seems so shocking to me and I am convinced that I didn't have any of these issues with my other pregnancies.
Since my iron levels are not coming up and I am a vegetarian my PA wants me to try and eat some meat everyday. Today will be day one. It's been almost 2 years! I am going to have a piece of chicken with my lunch. I really don't want to eat red meat. I did buy some organic grass feed beef just incase I need to.

Lately, I have been surprising myself with just how granola I have become. Some of the changes: no high fructose corn syrup in our house, mostly organic foods, vegetarian (although Paul and the kids still eat meat - but mostly free range organic), and here is the biggest shocker of them all - we may HOMESCHOOL Alanna next year. That's another post, but we are seriously looking at that as an option. Who would have thought? Soon the Evelands will be churning their own butter and weaving cloth!

Something New

2010-03-03T16:01:00.001-08:00

There is something new on my blog...

Let's see if you can find it.

What's Your Color

2010-02-12T10:10:00.000-08:00

Fun little quiz to pass the time on this lovely Friday morning. What's Your Color? My results:

RED
You boast incredible willpower and are
capable of overcoming obstacles
that would normally leave others
shaking in their boots. You have a penchant
for colorful environments and often
impress others with your energetic bursts
of energy. Your interests in many areas
of life often leave you scattered,
but when you focus you can accomplish
anything you put your mind to.

Yep, that's about right. Especially the "your interests in many areas of life often leave you scattered, but when you focus you can accomplish anything you put your mind to" That is really me!

Book Suggestions

2010-02-05T11:54:00.000-08:00

Today I ordered this book:

from Amazon.com. You see, I have a non-existant yard but would like to grow some veggies in containers and see how it goes but no clue how to start. My hope is this book will get me started down the right path.

But, I funny thing happened. Amazon made a suggestion to me - this book:

Just incase you can't read it "Birth Control is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children". If you are interested in purchasing it, it only costs $135.00 (I'm not kidding!)
Hmmmm....

What a Year!

2010-01-09T09:42:00.000-08:00

Fun Facebook app of my year in pictures. It was a year full of heart ache but also a LOT of fun! Starting in the upper left hand corner

Rachelle Kirkindoll and I at the New Kids on the Block concert. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Girls Night Christmas party - dancing the night away
Family hike with The Plant
Paul and I at Pismo Beach for a Marriage Retreat
Paul and I's New Year's kiss, ringing in 2010
Getting crafty and making a new purse
Anna is such an amazing friend! So blessed to have her in my life
10 Year Coffee Talk Reunion at Pismo Beach. All my best friends from college. Amazing group of women!
Paul and friend Jeremiah showing off their muscles at Pismo
Holly Graham celebrating Vanessa's 30th birthday!
Alanna and I at Sophia's 3rd birthday. She is too cute!!
Bella! We got a dog this year
Vanessa's 30th Birthday!
Wine tasting with my mom for a girls weekend in Sonoma
My kiddos, Luke and Alanna. They are cuddle bugs
Mom and I at the Vineyard.

Style School

2010-01-08T13:00:00.000-08:00

I am getting ready to embark on a new 6 week adventure (drum roll please) Style School. This is something I really wanted to do but thought I was going to miss out and then they open a few more spots and I got in (well, paid my $60) side note - so glad I didn't blow my Christmas money!

I am so excited to do this! I need inspiration to try new things and get the creative juices flowing again!!

A few of the lovely things we'll be making.

What I'm Reading

2010-01-07T09:00:00.000-08:00

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

I have never read this classic novel and it is used and referred to time and time again in ~~Twilight~~ other great books and movies, I figured I should probably know what they are talking about.

Don't I look a little snooty holding this book? Why? Because it's a CLASSIC and that means I am extra smart and refined!

New Year, A New You

2010-01-06T13:07:00.000-08:00

Do you believe in Resolutions? I don't really. Someone told me for 2010 they wanted "Revelations not Resolutions". I kind of liked the thought of that. It doesn't even have to apply to your faith in God. I think we all could use some greater Revelation in our lives aside from our knowledge of our Higher Power. So, in honor of that thought (Revelations, not Resolutions) I have made my list of New Year Revelations I am asking for and seeking in 2010:

Revelation to see myself the way my husband sees me

all he sees is beautiful and all I see are faults

Revelation to know my purpose

huge and I think this is a life long process and journey but one I want to honestly examine and begin to work towards something not just live

Revelation to stop living in fear of man - fear of judgement

fear of man keeps me from doing so many things I want to do like art and to live creatively

Revelation of a deeper love for people

Paul and I have a joke about me not being very tolerant with other people's stupidity and poor life choices. I don't want it to be a characteristic I am known for. It makes me sad that people say, "I use to think you were so mean then I got to know you and you're really very nice" I would much rather people just say the very nice part. BUT I do not want to loose my sense of justice, standards or morality. How does this balance and how do I still stay true to who I am? (HINT: REVELATION!)

Revelation of my many blessings

I am incredibly blessed and I do not want to loose sight of all the good in my life even in the face of adversity and want

And just for the heck of it... here are a few Resolutions to break:

Send pictures of my kids to my Grandma once a month. She lives in New York and will not touch a computer and is always asking for pictures of my kids and I am REALLY bad about sending them to her.
Clean-out the old - clean out closets, garage, old Rubbermaid Totes with God knows what in them
Start taking pictures again - photography miss it
Start college again, change major to Business Marketing and minor in Graphic Design. (It's taken me 3 years to decide on a major)
And because I am an American - loose weight!

Rain in Autumn

2009-11-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

This Sunday, I was encouraged and inspired to dream again and reach out for hope. I am desperate for an in-breaking of light in the midst of the darkness that Paul and I have been stumbling through.

Thank you Lord for knowing me. Thank you Lord for seeing my tears. Thank you Lord for loving me. Thank you Lord for saving me. Thank you Lord for pouring down your healing rain to soften my dry heart.

(click on picture for link to podcast)

Thank You

2009-11-11T12:46:00.000-08:00

Thank you to all veterans who have fought and served this country for my freedom.

New Obsession

2009-11-01T21:20:00.000-08:00

I have a new love! A website that I visit regularly to look but not buy... (Lord, please bring a job to Paul!!!!!!)

ModCloth. It is like Anthropology light - light as in not as expensive. Whimsy, unique and pretty are words that come to mind. Also fun home accessories.

Poor Luke

2009-10-30T17:11:00.000-07:00

Luke has terrible teeth. They are very week and he gets tons of cavities. I mean tons! Please don't judge me too harshly and you can with hold you're a bad mom comments for another blog.

Are you ready... he has 13 cavities and he is 3 years old. Some of them are very tiny and don't need to be drilled, two are going to need root canals or be pulled. We went in for his regular cleaning and walked out with 13 cavities!

Obvious question: Do you brush his teeth? YES! Every morning and every night. (FYI - his sister only had 1 cavity this last appointment).

So bad our dentist sent us to a specialist. The bad mom who doesn't take care of your kids specialist. It's like you walk in and everyone behind the desk gives you that look. "Here comes another another crappy mom that gives her kid coke in his sippy cup and a snickers bar at bed time. Get the silver tooth caps ready." I love being this mom. I'm sure my name is already flagged for a CPS call because we are not getting the H1N1 shots (that's a whole other post!).

They are going to have to sedate Luke to take care of these 13 cavities. But they can do everything at one time. I am flabbergasted (yes, flabbergasted, I said it) as to how he could have so many cavities in such a short time between his cleanings. This is just plain crazy!

How About Orange

2009-09-13T19:33:00.000-07:00

Not only is orange my favorite color - it is now my favorite blog.
How About Orange
Is the perfect mix of crafts, art, photography, decorating...

If you like these things it's a great one stop shop.

LOVE!

One More Thing

2009-08-31T18:54:00.000-07:00

I want to completely redecorate my house. I am over the leather couches, starbucks moody paint, and black accents. I am so inspired by everything I see vintage. I want old glass bottles, suitcases, ornament picture frames, worn distressed furniture, an old globe. I want to go to garage sales and find things and hunt around in thrift stores.

What To Do?

2009-08-31T18:34:00.000-07:00

Paul is a laid off teacher. One of the 1000 or so in Kern County, CA that were laid off due to state budget cuts. I know that we are not alone in this time and many people in many different industries have found themselves with out a job. Thankfully, a friend helped to get Paul a job at a used car lot. Don't get me wrong, we are thankful for the opportunity but just a couple of issues:

Commission Only - with the state of our current economy the auto industry is not exactly booming.
Paul was made to teach - This is his destiny and purpose. No question of what his calling is or what he is suppose it do (only a question of why isn't it happening! That's a whole other set of questions, rants and tears).
Then all the other issues that may seem trite but are issues none the less - super long hours, working every weekend, no insurance, holidays or vacations.

All that to say... Paul has not been hired at another teaching position and I don't know what to do. I work at our church as the Admin to our Sr. Pastor (translation, I don't make a lot of money). At times this has been the best and worst job I have ever had. I have never doubted myself more or have been hurt more by a job. I have also have intense times of love and support. I have been told this is part of ministry - I'm not so sure about all of that (once again, working in ministry is another whole set of questions, rants and tears).

I work with some of the best people that I love dearly. I think that maybe part of this issue - my heart and emotions are so involved. I wonder if I am at the point of exhaustion. Too many downs and too many ups. To complicate matters, the last 4 years I have worked for the church, have been some of roughest I have ever been through; my marriage and all aspects of my personal life have been turned upside down more times than I can count.

At what point do I throw-in the towel? I have a the ability to make a lot more money that could change our financial situation drastically (I hope that doesn't sound egotistical). Is now the time to leave? Is it time to move on? Is money the best reason to go? Am I not trusting God to provide for us a job for Paul? Is God leading me to something new? Do we stay in Bakersfield? Do I look for a job outside of Bakersfield? Do we move the whole family for my job and hope there is a teaching job? Do we stay put and wait? I would love an answer to just one of these questions.

Love of Reading

2009-08-12T10:06:00.000-07:00

I have recently re-discovered my love for reading. I am desperate for some book suggestions. I do not like romance novels or horror/really scary books.

Any suggestions?

Kid Life List

2009-08-11T11:18:00.000-07:00

Paul and I took a much needed family day yesterday and went to the beach. It was a wonderful relaxing day full of laughter. Luke was very concerned and didn't want me to go into the water alone because I don't "have muscles". He made Paul hold my hand anytime I went into the water. It was wonderful watching our children play in the sand and water holding hands with my husband. Luke is very protective of me and always wants to make sure that I am safe. It's funny even at 3 years old I can see the type of man he is going to be.

Alanna is so adventurous! No stopping that girl. She was out in the waves, running all over the beach and wanting to explore and touch everything. She would get so excited to find seaweed and would bring it up to the shore and pull it apart. Most people (especially 8 year old girls) hate it when seaweed touches them. She is so full of life. I cannot wait to see where life is going to take her!

All that to say, as we were at the beach yesterday Paul and I were talking about all the things we want to do with the kids. Some will be easier to do than others... I know I need to write this down or it will be gone forever.

Go to a fish hatchery - I went as a kid and thought it was the coolest thing ever!
Go to Colonial Williamsburg
Go to Washington, DC
Take Alanna to a Broadway musical
Take the kids to Corfu, NY to see their family history
Go to Sea World
Go to Hawaii and go snorkeling
Go to Alaska
Go to San Diego Zoo
Go to the Grand Canyon
Take the kids snowboarding
Go to an NFL game - preferably the Rams in a winning season (that was Paul)
Go to a Dodgers game
Go to Discovery Center in Santa Ana
Learn to sail
Plant and care for a garden
Go to Monterey Aquarium
Go to Kern County Museum
????????

Broken Heart

2009-08-07T18:25:00.000-07:00

It's difficult to face a broken heart. Hearts can be broken for many different reasons but I think the main cause is loss. Generally we associate a broken heart with a broken relationship.

I am dealing with the loss of dreams and the idea that my life would be lived a certain way and have a certain outcome. I realize that those were my plans and God's ways are higher then mine. The plans I make are all subject to His will and purpose. They come with an astrix (**plans and conditions are subject to change at anytime with no notice), that does not seam to spare my heart the pain it feels when our plans do not line up.

Please do not worry - Paul and I are NOT getting a divorce and my kids are healthy. Just life is taking us down a path once again that I did not want to ever see again. Yet here we are and I my heart is broken.

Slavery

2009-06-03T12:33:00.000-07:00

Human trafficking cannot be ignored.

It is real.

It is horrible.

Please go here to read more and support an organization to bring girls out of slavery and into life.

http://daleyhake.com/blog/listenplease/

Jazzercise - Move your Boogie Body 1982

2009-05-19T15:59:00.001-07:00

She Bangs!

2009-05-01T10:46:00.001-07:00

I got bangs and I LOVE them. Bangs, you complete me.

I'm Back

2009-05-01T10:32:00.000-07:00

After my grandfather died I had a hard time. Life was moving too fast and I was having a hard time catching up. So, lots of things dropped off. But, I am feeling like life and I are beginning to get back on track with each other. I'm ready to start with my extra curricular activities again. I'm happy that I feel the desire to write again and share my life again. In segments longer than a Facebook status update or Tweet.

The family on a recent hike in the canyon (Bakersfield, CA)

Airports

2009-03-10T19:15:00.000-07:00

Airports are strange places. I am waiting for my flight to San Francisco to North Carolina to Buffalo NY (I get here tomorrow morning at 11am). It is empty but for a few strange characters. Sometimes, I wonder if I am on a hidden camera TV show.

When I checked-in, a lady was at the counter flipping out because they didn't have her tickets. She proceeded to call the FBI. Then started yelling about the government taking her social security checks and forcing her to go on welfare. She wants to fly to Washington DC to prove that America isn't what we think it is. WHAT??? She didn't get through to anyone at the FBI, she was on put on hold. She told me that they were scared of her because she was revealing the truth. How do you get the number to the FBI? Can you just dial 4-1-1? I looked around for security and I breathed a sigh of relief a TSA agent was walking up and then kept on going. Apparently, my lip gloss in a threat to national security but this lady is just fine.

The other man on my flight tonight is selling cars right now - over the phone. If you want a BMW, I know a guy.

Good-Bye

2009-03-09T18:23:00.000-07:00

My Grandpa Bud died today.

I am really sad.

My Grandpa was more than a grandpa.

He gave me away at my wedding.

Most girls say they want to marry their dad, I wanted to marry Grandpa Bud.

I thought I was flying to New York to tell him I love him, how he inspired me and goodbye.

I am flying out to New York to bury him and I never get to have that conversation with him.

I am really sad.

Word to Your Motha

2009-03-08T13:01:00.001-07:00

My kids are hardcore!

Feelings, Nothing More Than Feelings

2009-03-04T12:00:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, Paul and I spent an amazing weekend at Pismo Beach at the Marriage Advance sponsored by our church. Amazing guest speakers - Danny and Sheri Silk kicked my bootie a couple of times. I needed a bootie kick!

Danny shared about feelings. That the only thing that I can do, is tell you about me. I can't tell you about you because only you know you. Is this confusing yet? I can only tell you about how your actions make me feel. It's not my job to pass judgement on your actions. So instead of saying, "You are such a jerk and you don't even care about me" I would say, "I feel hurt and sad." I take away my judgement of jerk-dom and his level of care of me. When I make judgement, it sets Paul (or whoever) on the defensive. He now has to defend his character and his level of care of me and the fight is ON like Donkey Kong. If I tell him how I feel, he doesn't have to form a defense and we can really start to work on the real issues. (side note: saying, "I feel like you are a jerk" is not really a feeling. If you can insert the work "think" into your feeling statement and it makes sense it is an opinion not a feeling. I feel sad vs. I think sad or I feel like you don't care vs. I think you don't care)

It made so much sense! One problem, I am so very good at passing judgement and so very bad at expressing my feelings. Why? I don't know. Probably something from childhood. I want to be able to say how I feel but it is embarrassing to me. I feel uncomfortable and awkward. (wow, I did it, a feeling) I would rather just tell you my opinion of you. I just had revelation: It's about control. (Serious that popped in my head when I typed the last sentence about opinion) I feel control over you with judgement and opinion and if I open my heart and expose all those feelings, I am no longer in control. I am vulnerable.

I'm a rebel...

2009-03-03T14:51:00.001-08:00

Look what I did!

New Painting

2009-02-24T09:30:00.000-08:00

Finished this last night. It's for my mom who is coming for a visit on Thursday. She requested a red and black painting. I hope she likes it. Paul didn't want me to give this one away, it would work really well in our living room. Man, is he selfish! I think I'll paint another one for our house.

Fun with Photo Booth

2009-02-18T15:32:00.001-08:00

It was a rainy day. Sister and dad went to the skating rink. Alanna won her race and Paul raced with all the high school boys and won! With his big mustache and Star Wars t-shirt on. Man, I wish I had some pictures of that.

Luke and I stayed home and after a couple hours of playing Transformers and Luke getting mad because I can't fully transform any of them into a car or robot... It was time for some Photo Booth fun!

Reading

2009-02-18T13:35:00.001-08:00

I love to read. I have since I was a little girl and first picked up "Little House in the Big Woods".

Then moved onto the Babysitters Club Series. MaryAnn drove me crazy! Why was she the first to get a boyfriend? Logan was too hot for her (at least in my world he was). I loved fashionable Claudia. Then there was Stacey's big secret - diabetes! Discovered after she peed her pants at a slumber party. How awful! But the girls pulled together and always supported Stacey. After I was too grown-up for the Babysitters Club - I moved onto Sweet Valley High. I loved Jessica. First and for most because her name was Jessica! She was also into fashion, outgoing and spontaneous.

I recently finished the Twilight series. I read all 4 books and the unfinished manuscript of Midnight Sun in just 6 days. Not saying that these books are perfect and everything was wrapped up a little too neatly for my taste... But they were written for teenage girls and they were so fun to read! I also read Confessions of a Shopaholic and Shopaholic Takes Manhattan. Total chic lit and fun to read. I have this thing when a movie is coming out, I want to read the book and then I don't want to see the movie after because I just know they are going to get it wrong (ie The Devil Wears Prada).

So after all the fluffy reading, I decided to read a classic - Ja ne Austin. I must confess, as much as I love to read and as much as I love Jane Austin movies - I have never read one of her books. I'm truly kind of embarrassed to admit that. I'm going to start with Persuasion (from the back cover)...

"Persuasion is the most highly esteemed novel of many Austenites. Persuasion has often been seen as the thinking reader's Pride and Prejudice."

I hope I'm a thinking reader and all those years of Sweet Valley High didn't rot my brain too much!

The Rules

2009-02-17T16:10:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like everyone else got the rules but you? Everyone else knows how the game is suppose to be played but you missed that meeting and the follow-up memo.

This happened to me today and I got blasted in front of everyone because I didn't know how to play the game. I'm sad and now I'm watching Ellen in my bedroom in the dark.

Pancake Hair

2009-02-14T14:28:00.001-08:00

Luke loves his pancakes! He achieved this lovely hair-do with the help of lots of syrup. That piece sticking up, did not go down. So much for saving time by taking a bath the night before!

Etsy Find

2009-02-14T12:12:00.001-08:00

I am in love with everything in Story by Mia's store at Etsy. They make me want to send a note to everyone I know! The are simple, graphic and modern but completely adorable all at the same time. Besides cards, they have notebooks, invitations, birth announcements, gift tags and they will personalize just about anything for you.

Wish I was having a baby shower so I could use these!

These make me smile. Great for the "Hi friend - you're special to me" little note to encourage a special friend.

So elegant - perfect thank you note to send after a wine tasting party or some other fancy event. I love the red envelope, it's the perfect accent to the black and white card.

Writing a grocery list in this notebook would make the weekly trip to Trader Joe's feel just a little bit more special.

Saturday Quiz - What's Your Valentine's Personality?

2009-02-14T11:16:00.000-08:00

Your Valentine's Day Personality is Practical

As far as you're concerned, Valentine's Day is simply a commercial holiday.

You don't place any real meaning on it. You don't think it deserves too much celebration.

For you, Valentine's Day is just the day you avoid restaurants and candy stores.

If you love someone, you already show it. You don't need to go all out for a silly holiday to prove your love.

What's Your Valentine's Day Personality?

Yes, this is pretty correct for myself. It feels more like a kid's "holiday" to me. So I like to do lots of fun stuff for the kids to make it special for them. This morning I made pink pancakes with strawberries, little gifts and a love letter from their daddy.

New Painting

2009-02-13T13:19:00.000-08:00

A little painting I did last weekend while Paul and Luke played Transformers. Alanna was spending the night at a friends house.

it's on a 12x12 canvas with acrylic paint

Potty Training!

2009-02-12T15:41:00.000-08:00

Friends I think we have done it! We have had potty training success. After many weeks, tears (from both me and Luke), several bottles of carpet cleaner Luke has successfully worn big boy undies for two days with no accidents! Last Wednesday he pooped out his diaper and up his back and at that point I was finished with diapers. He's almost 3 and I was done with that mess!

On a side note, I keep calling Luke's big boy undies, his panties and it freaks Paul out. Now Luke started calling them panties and that's got Paul really mad. So, I'm trying to be very purposeful in calling them undies or underpants. I swear, it's not on purpose that I call them panties! So far, the majority of undergarment in the household belong to the females and have been panties. Alanna strolls into our room buck-naked, "mom where are my panties?" This conversation always blows my mind. How do you not know where your panties are? You took them off - where did you put them and why are you naked at 2 in the afternoon? "I was hot." The excuse will pass for now - but it's not going to fly when she's 16 and her horn-dog boyfriend is over. If she comes and asks me where her panties are - heads are going to roll!

Back to Luke - I know we are not completely out of the woods yet. But we are finally seeing progress and I am so proud of my little man. He's growing up!

Etsy Find

2009-02-09T14:49:00.000-08:00

I love all things Etsy. It's creative, inspiring, original, artistic, crafty and fun! I love going to the site and window shopping and dreaming that I could buy it all or make it myself.

This is my current favorite. I keep trying to figure out where I would put them - what would be the perfect wall and what would be the perfect sticker to use.

They are cute and really fun. They make me want to paint and redecorate! Ooooo, then I could go to Lowe's and look at flooring, countertops, tile and backslashes. And pick out those fun cards with all the paint colors. So fun! Here are some of my favorites:

Saturday Quiz - What kind of kid were you?

2009-02-07T18:58:00.000-08:00

Active Kid

When you were a kid, you were happy as long you didn't have to sit still.

You were very hyper, and it was hard for you to sit through class or finish your homework.

It's likely that you were a natural athlete and a natural entertainer. You loved to play outside with your friends.

You were an outgoing, popular kid. Put you in a sports game or a school play, and you really shined.

What Kind of Kid Were You?

I was a very active kid. I played baseball for a few years. On recess, I was playing kickball, tether ball or 4 square. I did not understand the group of girls that sat in the grass every recess talking. BORING!! I was also in lots of school plays. I was Martha Washington in our school operetta in 4th grade. I with I had a picture of that.

F-U-Y Update

2009-02-06T10:49:00.000-08:00

After meeting with the principal and they boy - he was suspended for 2 days and has to sit by the bus driver on bus from now on. Front row seat is death in elementary school social circles. Alanna is free to sit where she wants. At first they said that Alanna needed to sit near the driver. I objected - why should Alanna be punished? She didn't do anything wrong. They are dividing the boys and girls on the bus. Boys on the left, girls on the right. I'm satisfied with how things turned out. We did tell her if he grabs her again, that she could hit him as hard as she could and that we would deal with the school.

Check this out...

2009-02-05T09:11:00.001-08:00

I have been listening to the Peasant Princess series by Mark Driscoll and it is so good! It's on Song of Solomon I would recommend it everyone. But you should probably use head phones if you are listening to it in public.

Our society is so over-sexed it's wonderful to hear the Biblical perspective of sex. Mark has no fear and nothing is left unsaid.

F-U-Y

2009-02-04T11:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Alanna (my 2nd grade - 7 year old daughter) came home from school very upset. After some prodding, she told about a boy on her bus that has been grabbing her bottom, making kissy faces at her, told her she was the cutest girl on the bus and worst of all told her he wanted to F-U-Y her. Although I have no idea what F-U-Y means I was LIVID!! Paul was seeing red and ready to destroy the boy. Alanna was crying because she was going to get in trouble because the boy touched her bottom (yes, bottom - butt is a naughty word at the Eveland home). She also was afraid of getting in trouble for saying "F-U-Y". If I knew what F-U-Y was...

I was not ready to have the sexual harassment talk with Alanna. Yes, we've had the "good touch/bad touch" talk with her but this was different. She told me, "I know I shouldn't feel this way but I feel like it's my fault." I called the principal and the school is following-up with disciplinary action with the boy. It breaks my heart that Alanna had to grow-up a little more over the last couple days and lost another little piece of her childhood.

Saturday Quiz - What 80's Song Are You?

2009-01-31T10:10:00.005-08:00

You Are "Love Shack"

If you were transported back to the 80s, you would enjoy anything and everything underground.

You love the alternative aspects of 80s culture, and you're a bit disappointed that they've been forgotten over time.

You'd be goth, punk, new wave, or a rapper. Just not a yuppie, a preppy, or a jock!

You would relish living in a time where identifying with a subculture actually meant something.

What's Your 80s Karaoke Song?

Finally Friday

2009-01-30T11:22:00.001-08:00

My daughter Alanna is really pushing for a guinea pig. So we've set-up this chart for her to complete to show us how she can be responsible. I already have visions of smelly cage and guinea pig boredom setting in and she will forget all about it. Then I will have to care for it and they can live for 15 years!!! Alanna will be moved out of the house and in college and I will still be cleaning up after this rodent. Paul and I are doing everything we can to make guinea pigs sound like no fun. I'm sure in a week or two I will be writing about our new guinea pig. Paul is a push-over for Alanna and I have a strong feeling he is going to cave on this one.

We are working on Potty Training with Luke. He's going to be 3 in May and I am tired of changing his diapers. He has big boy poo and I have had enough. Luke has no interest in using the potty. He tells me that he likes his diaper. He knows when he's going to the bathroom because he goes and hides or will yell at me, "Mom, poop is coming out of my butt" just being LAZY! We've even tried to bribe him with riding the train when he goes in the potty. He talks about riding the train all the time and tells me daily "when I go poo-poo on the potty I ride the train to Papa Joe's." Yes, you will - now go on the potty! I even told him this morning that Batman doesn't like little boys that wear diapers. I'm awful.

Saturday Quiz

2009-01-24T15:44:00.000-08:00

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Bette!

You are a Bette -- "I must be strong"

Bettes are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me
* Stand up for yourself... and me.
* Be confident, strong, and direct.
* Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
* Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
* Give me space to be alone.
* Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
* I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
* When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.
What I Like About Being a Bette
* being independent and self-reliant
* being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
* being courageous, straightforward, and honest
* getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
* supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
* upholding just causes
What's Hard About Being a Bette
* overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
* being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
* sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
* never forgetting injuries or injustices
* putting too much pressure on myself
* getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right
Bettes as Children Often
* are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
* are sometimes loners
* seize control so they won't be controlled
* figure out others' weaknesses
* attack verbally or physically when provoked
* take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings
Bettes as Parents
* are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
* are sometimes overprotective
* can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Family Night

2009-01-22T10:37:00.000-08:00

I learned of family nights from a wonderful blog - Whittaker Woman. So without further ado here is the Eveland's first family night:

Dodger Night!

It's Paul's favorite team. This was a few months ago and I've just been bad about posting.

So here is what we did:

The menu: Dodger dogs, nachos and I made little Dodger bags and in them were peanuts. To drink we had ice cold root beer (you can't have a Dodger dog without beer!). For dessert we had baseball cookies. I had round sugar cookies and frosted them like baseballs. Yes, I know no veggies and it's all processed food. But it's fun! The kids thought it was amazing!!

Alanna and Luke enjoying the dinner. Everyone had to wear blue and a baseball hat to dinner. After dinner we went outside and played some baseball.

After dinner we watched The Sandlot and ate Cracker Jacks.

Alanna was not happy with her prize of a baseball card. She wanted something "cool".

Happy Anniversary!

2008-12-19T11:32:00.000-08:00

Today is my 10 year anniversary

Paul, I love you very much and I am so happy to share this life with you!

Christmas Confession

2008-12-19T10:37:00.000-08:00

From Whittaker Woman's Blog posted this and I thought it was fun. She did not tag me...truth be told if she did I probably would not do it, there's a little rebellious confession of mine. :) But I thought it was fun. Lets do it together!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Paper!! It's too much fun watching kids rip open presents on Christmas morning. So anti-climatic to open a bag. And don't be gentle with it! Go for it rip it up! I'm not going to save it to use it later or line my drawers with it (sorry Grandma!)

2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial, although nothing beats the smell of a real one! We switched to artificial because of Luke's allergies and asthma. Yet another reason to pray for his healing!!

3. When do you put up the tree? Weekend after Thanksgiving. I need a little recovery time before we start the next project after Thanksgiving.
4. When do you take the tree down? New Years Day. It's the official closing of the holiday season for the Eveland family.
5. Do you like eggnog? blehk... no! Paul loves it and so it's always in our fridge during Christmas.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? I was in 7th grade and wanted a suede bombers jacket so badly and screamed when I opened that up.

8. Easiest person to buy for? Paul - so easy, video games. Done and done. It makes me a little sad because I don't feel creative about the gift and doesn't take any thought but I know it's what he really happy with.

9. Do You have a nativity scene? yes, a tin punch-out one from Mexico my Aunt Jenny gave it to my mom and my mom gave it to me. I love it.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail although now we send out so many I do the picture cards and don't write notes. Every year I feel a little guilty about it.
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? my mother-in-law gave me a XXL t-shirt with a picture of a duck on it wrapped in tape and it said "duck tape". Paul sitting next to me opened a card with $200 cash. I try not to get caught-up in gifts and compare but that was awful. I didn't know what was worse - that she thought I wore a XXL or the ugliness of the shirt itself.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? White Christmas for the classic movie and Christmas Vacation for the contemporary movie. That movie is so dang funny!
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? December. I always have intentions of starting much earlier in the year but it never happens

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? yes!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? my family use to have lots of traditions with food at Christmas. On Christmas Eve we would have a giant manicotti dinner and on Christmas morning we would have homemade cinnamon rolls and eggnog then quiche for breakfast. After my sister died and my parents got divorced it all stopped. I thought I would try it with my family but it made me sad. Paul's family didn't really have any traditions to carry on. So we have tried a few things to make our own traditions for our family. So right now, no favorite foods for Christmas.

16. Lights on the tree? HUH? Who does not put lights on their tree? - Agree with Heather!
17. Favorite Christmas song? Church Christmas song - O Holy Night "Fall on your knees, O hear the angels voices!" tears every time! Secular Christmas Song "Love, Love, Love" by Dave Matthews Band.

18. Travel for Christmas or stay home? Depends on the year. Sometimes we go up to Eureka, CA to visit my mom or we stay in Bakersfield, CA. This year we are staying in Bakersfield and then going down to San Clemente to visit Paul's birth dad and extended family.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? nope

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? a red star

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning. My kids believe in Santa (gasp!). I know their eternal salvation is at stake but they do! On Christmas Eve they open one present from mom and dad and it's their Christmas PJ's

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? How busy everything is no time for family
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? traditionalist - red, green and white
24. Favorite Christmas dinner? ???

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? a dog - but Paul said no.

Christmas Pictures

2008-12-12T11:17:00.000-08:00

This weekend I tried to take some Christmas pictures of the kids to send out cards. Got them all dressed in cute pj's and set up on the stairs then Alanna decided to ram her chin into the top of Luke's head until he started crying then Luke turned around the slapped Alanna in the face. After that all Alanna would do is stare me down and Luke was not happy he just wanted to watch a movie.

So, I lost my cool, "ALL I WANT IS A STUPID CHRISTMAS PICTURE TO SEND TO OUR FRIENDS! SIT DOWN AND SHUT-UP SO I CAN TAKE A PICTURE!!" This got their attention - I said two bad words, "stupid" and "shut-up". My mom was here visiting and she just sat in the kitchen laughing at me. I finally gave up and let the kids watch their movie. I think I need to ask Santa for a book on parenting.

Merry Christmas!

New Kids on the Block Concert Pictures

2008-12-03T13:48:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving Report

2008-12-01T20:17:00.000-08:00

We had dinner with Paul's parents Tom and Judy, his younger brother Daniel and wife Jen, their little girl Aiden and great-grandma Betty. It was kind of a rough day for us. Family drama and Paul and I had to sit at the kids table. Yes, I spent my Thanksgiving at the folding card table. Don't bump it - it will fall over, kids table. Yes, I was insulted and yes, my feelings were hurt. I was reminded during the dinner that I didn't love my kids enough and they would probably be molested and kidnapped.

We decided to leave shortly after dinner to drive to San Clemente. Paul was very anxious to meet his birth father, Joe and brothers Chris and Nick. The drive went quickly and was uneventful. The kids slept most of the way and Paul and I were nervous and chatted the entire time about our expectations, fears, hopes and worries.

Joe and his wife Gerry live in a beautiful neighborhood in a beautiful home. It is big and welcoming. Our time with them was amazing. Every one shared lots of stories of growing up, family history. Sometimes I just sat and stared in amazement that all this was really happening. Paul's family is a very close-knit Italian family. Aunts, Uncles and cousins get together on a regular basis and spend lots of time together. We had a big family dinner on Saturday with Grandma's homemade sauce and meatballs, pasta, ravioli, bread, salads, homemade biscotti, chocolate fountain, cakes and more!

Luke was instantly attached to Papa Joe and has talked about him non-stop since we have been home. It was a wonderful trip. We couldn't have asked for things to go better. Everyone was amazing!

Playing at Laguna Beach

Me, Paul's step-mom Gerry and Paul

Uncle Nick, Luke and Alanna watching cartoons

Luke playing cars with Uncle Chris (Paul's brother)

Uncle Dave (Joe's brother) and Aunt Shannon hosted the get together

Chris and Aunt Sue (Joe's sister)
us and Papa Joe

Joe and his boys -Nick (19), Chris (22) and Paul (33)

New Kids on the Block TONIGHT!!

2008-11-26T11:43:00.000-08:00

Going to see NKOTB tonight at the Nokia Center!!! So excited it's going to be so awesome! I will post pictures of our adventures!

Sunday Afternoon

2008-11-23T20:32:00.001-08:00

I was so ready for a lazy Sunday afternoon after church and lunch with the extended family. Luke had other plans. I just had to run a quick errand to Target (I was so good and only spent $35 - it's a miracle!). We're going out to the car and Luke lays on that rack under the cart and gets his thumb caught in the wheel. It rips off a bunch of the skin and looks like it is broken. Of course when ever I have a champion mom move - something that would earn me a nomination for mother of the year, some one is there to see it. Mandi Neilson's mom, Melissa, and her sister are right there! We spend the next 3 hours at Kaiser. Good news! Luke's thumb is not broken, just badly bruised, swollen and meaty. We left with an anti-biotic and band aids.

That cut wraps all the way around and down the other side of his thumb.

High School Memories

2008-11-19T19:23:00.000-08:00

Today I got an message from an old friend from high school. I graduated in 1995. It was an email asking why I did what I did. I was big jerk to him and he wanted to know what happened. I can honestly say that he didn't do anything. He was (and I'm sure he still is) a great person and a friend to me during the hardest time in my life - when my sister died. I was just immature and didn't handle things very well back then. So here I am 15 years later trying to explain why at age 15 I wasn't a good friend and more than that was a total a-hole.

I'm really glad that he sent me the message. It's something I have always regretted and wanted to apologize for. I hope that we could be friends again but maybe too much time has passed. Who knows?

It got me to thinking about my life today. What email/message/or some advanced messaging system that hasn't been invented yet will I get in another 15 years? Who am I letting down today? What friendship am I letting slip away? There was one person that came to my mind right away and I'm going to call her tomorrow morning.

My Hot Date

2008-11-17T14:18:00.001-08:00

Today I got to spend the morning on a date with a real cutie! We went to Starbucks, I had a latte and he had vanilla milk and a doughnut. It was beautiful outside. It was the perfect way to spend the morning.

New Painting

2008-11-17T13:54:00.000-08:00

Last night I had a great time at church. I painting during worship and I haven't done that in a really long time. It was fun! At one point I smeared paint on my face under my nose like a mustache. What can I say, I'm jealous of Paul! Paul says that when I paint I'm like a 5 year old. I get paint all over my hands, usually on my face and sometimes of my clothes. I just get into it and I'm not very aware of myself.

Another exciting thing, I found my long lost sister last night. She's not really my sister but we look a lot alike. Here is the scary thing - we were dressed exactly the same!!! Black 3/4 sleeve tunic top, jeans, sandals, black and white scarfs, our red hair was styled the same and we both had dark fingernails and toes. Sadly, I didn't have my camera.

Here is my new painting:

Hi Grandma and Grandpa!!

2008-11-15T22:39:00.001-08:00

So excited to get a comment from my wonderful Grandparents that live in New York! Love you both very much!! Please check back often!!
Hugs and Kisses!
XXOOXXOO

2008-11-09T23:21:00.000-08:00

I have calmed down and not so upset. So that's good.

Today was a busy day and worked this morning (since I work at a church, every Sunday morning is work), then dinner with the in-laws, then baby shower for cousin-cousin Laura, then a movie with friends that we haven't spent time with in a long time, came home kids in the bath, prayers and bed.

Doesn't it seem like so many of our days are filled with busy? Just being busy, in constant motion. Rushing! It's the ongoing struggle to learn to find peace and quiet.

Some things that I'm excited about right now:

guitar lessons - I am learning to shred!
Paul and I teaching at the Plant on Tuesday
mentoring an amazing woman
cold weather and sweaters
Luke being done with his pacifier
down comforters
painting
boots (need a new black pair, broke the heel off mine)
discovering & walking in my destiny
Shindig Skate Ministry
Alanna moving from Broadway Babies to Broadway Beginnings
Mom coming to visit December 3
meeting Paul's family for the first time
starting all my Christmas crafting

Today

2008-11-05T16:08:00.000-08:00

I am so frusterated right now! I have about 10 different posts that I would like to write but can't because a few people actually read this. I have so much going on in my head but no place that I really feel safe working it all through.

What do you want to be in 10 years? It is a question I have to answer for a class but have not answered it yet. I think part of me knows some of the answer but I don't really want to admit it. If I write it down, then I might have to really do something. I'm not ready to write it down because I'm too safe and comfortable right now. I can feel the pull.

New Family

2008-11-01T16:55:00.000-07:00

My husband, Paul, is adopted. When Paul was 19 years old he found his birth mom, his birth mom and family moved to New York.

Then last week, Paul was making a mysterious phone call to a Joseph Castagno. I ask, who's that? He says, "I think he is my dad." Then two days later Joseph called him back and we found out that Joseph is Paul's birth father. Paul has two brothers, Chris and Nick and a million Uncles, Aunts, Cousins. A giant Italian family. (Paul's Italian!) Everyone has been so amazing and welcoming! Paul is so excited!

Paul's dad Joe and grandson Logan

Paul's Brother Chistopher and his son Logan

Paul's youngest brother, Nicolas

New Tattoo

2008-11-01T16:52:00.000-07:00

I got a new tattoo. It means "joy" in Irish Gaelic. It is something I have wanted for awhile and I'm very happy with how it turned out.

My New Addictions

2008-10-01T11:25:00.000-07:00

I have 2 new addictions. Photo Booth on my Mac and Facebook.
So here I am reading Facebook and taking pictures on Photo Booth. This is with the Thermal Camera effect. I have found a way to combine my two addictions.

Now, I am from the movie Mask and I am angry!

Okay, got to go. Getting anxious that I haven't checked Facebook in 3 minutes. I'm just kidding! (Sort of...)

Away to Mexico

2008-09-21T18:47:00.000-07:00

My friends and I liked to joke about running away to Mexico. You know those days - kids driving you nuts, husband being a jerk, can't stand another day of the ordinary. No more Albertson's or Chevy Tahoe's, mortgage payments, homework, car seats, dinners, laundry or dirty bathrooms! But there is always that thing inside of you that stops you from getting on the 5 Freeway and heading south. Then, you are reminded of the sweet kisses of your kiddos, cuddles on the couch watching cartoons on a Saturday morning, laughs shared over a family dinner, your husband's tender touch on the small of your back. All the things that bring so much joy come to mind the second after you contimplate running away from everything.

But then it happens. One of my closest friends ran away to Mexico. Not literaly, she isn't in Cabo but she chucked it all for the dream of a different life. I have to believe that someday soon (if not already) life in Mexico isn't looking a great as she thought it would be. The things that bring joy lost their luster. I guess they no longer came to mind after the thought of hitting the road. Or maybe they did but the dream of a new life become brighter.

One thing that I have learned is that if you think it can't happen to you then you might be in greatest danger of doing it. You take things for granted (cliche but true!). The everyday is no longer special because it's expected and becomes boring. Life in Mexico begins to look more and more exciting. (I think I have beat this annalogy into the ground)

I'm not going to joke about going to Mexico anymore.

Amazing Ladies

2008-09-19T09:51:00.000-07:00

Everyday, I get the privilege of working with some amazing women. I'm so thankful that the Lord has put me in this position to surround me with these lovely ladies! Working here has given me life long friendships with them and others that no longer work here (that means you Mandi).

Baseball and Culture

2008-09-18T15:30:00.000-07:00

For Paul's birthday I took him to LA. I surprised him with tickets to his favorite team - the Dodgers! I also got him a new hat.

To make it even better, I got the tickets in the "all you can eat pavilion" If you know Paul, you know that one of his favorite all time activities is eating.
At the end of the game Paul's food count: 4 dodger dogs, 4 cokes, 2 nachos, 1 bag of peanuts, 1 beer. (For the record, I had 2 dodger dogs, 2 diet cokes and a nachos and some of Paul's beer. Yes, I felt very sick after the game.)

We stayed the night in LA and went to the Walk of Fame and stuff like that in Hollywood. Paul had never seen it before! We also went to the Kodak Theater and saw Tokyo Hotel. Paul's putting his hands in George Lucas' (lest you forget that my son's name is Luke). Then there's me lounging at the Kodak Theater. Then there is Tokyo Hotel's gear boxes.

Next we went to the Getty for a romantic lunch and to get some culture and look at art. The security guards talked to us 4 times. What can I say, we are from Bakersfield!

Our view from our lunch table. It was a beautiful day!

Life imitating art (we got the ear phone things to hear more about the paintings)

Paul loved this photograph. The 'stash is amazing! But you are not suppose to take pictures of the pictures (you can of the paintings - not sure why) so I was spoken to by the security guard. Another time I took a picture and my flash went off and I got a stern talking to. And then I was t0o close to a painting and told to back off. And I was sending a text message by the photographs and they told me to put my phone away. I guess Paul is fine but I'm a trouble maker and should not be allowed to leave Bakersfield or go any place outside of Bakersfield.

Camping

2008-09-12T14:48:00.001-07:00

Our annual camping trip to Wishon with all our best friends and family.

Alanna loves s'mores!

Throwing rocks

Sleep boy

Salem - the master fire starter

My Mosaic

2008-09-04T12:52:00.000-07:00

Beach Fun!

2008-09-04T10:16:00.000-07:00

Eveland family took a day trip to Ventura Beach. I fell asleep in a chair with Luke and got so burned. It had blisters on my lips. Please Lord, spare me from skin cancer! I am usually a freak about sun screen, I wear spf 30 everyday.

We had a great time. Alanna was in the water the entire time. We had to force her to get out to eat lunch and she was not happy. Luke did not touch the water but had a good time throwing rocks, digging in the sand and knocking down sand castles. He kept going after neighbors sand creations.

Little Man Luke - he's so white but soooo cute! He takes after mom

Miss Alanna loves the water!
She has the most beautiful olive skin. Thank God for Paul's genetics!

Paul and I - pre lip blisters

Walks on the beach and converstations about rocks.
"Wook it Daddy - wrocks!"

First Day of School

2008-09-03T10:54:00.000-07:00

Alanna started 2nd grade this year! She is required to wear school uniforms so please excuse her drab appearance. We are less than impressed with her teacher this year. She was late for the first day of school. Told us she missed 11 weeks(!!!) of school last year due to the flu. We have yet to see ANY school work. We have gotten homework packets on a different day of the week every week. And to top it off, Alanna keeps asking if we are illegal aliens, why? because Mrs. D talks about them a lot. Hmmmm...

Shoe Shopping!! A perfect mother - daughter bonding experience!

Alanna really wanted these shoes. We found a pair that we both could agree on and would go better with her uniforms. She settled for a picture with the shoes.
On our way to the first day of school!

Alanna and little brother Luke

In her class. She is so studious!

Bad Mommy Blog!

2008-09-03T10:46:00.001-07:00

I am a very bad mommy blogger. I have not even written about or posted pictures of the first day of school. It was August 18th! I have a few post to catch-up on the happenings for the Eveland's this summer. I think this will mainly be for the grandparents...

Saturday Fun!

2008-08-30T18:42:00.000-07:00

Mom

Dad
FYI - The stash, goat and glasses are all him

Little Miss Alanna

My Little Man - Luke

The Shack

2008-08-22T12:47:00.001-07:00

FINALLY FINISHED!!!!

My final review - good not great.

Sad News...

2008-08-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

I was sad to read this yesterday:

It is with considerable sadness then, that we must temper the jubilation we know you all feel with the sobering news that Todd and Shonnah Bentley are presently experiencing significant friction in their relationship and are currently separated. We want to affirm that there has been no sexual immorality on the part of either Todd or Shonnah, nor has there ever been. Undoubtedly the pressures and the burden of the Outpouring, which approaches 144 days on August 23rd, have helped to create an atmosphere of fatigue and stress that has exacerbated existing issues in their relationship. We wish to stress however, that the Outpouring is not “to blame” for the current chain of events and that in effect we have no interest in blaming anyone, but rather we deeply covet your prayers for Todd and Shonnah and for Fresh Fire Ministries during this time.

No matter what you think about what happening in Florida at the Outpouring revivals and what you think about Todd Bentley. Please pray for him and his family.

Look Before You Eat

2008-08-13T11:18:00.000-07:00

Last week we had good friends over for a BBQ. We had corn on the cob with our dinner and Luke loves it. Because he is two and new to the whole feeding/eating thing - I have to help him out and take a bite out of his corn to start it for him.

We had finished dinner and I was washing up dishes and loading the dishwasher and Luke handed me a piece of corn to start. I mindlessly took it, took a bite and handed it back. He said "K-ank Too" and I replied "Welcome Bubba." Then I thought that corn tastes bad and wait a minute - that smell, I know that smell. I spun Luke around and I knew. At that moment, I knew. His hands were covered in poop, in turn his corn was covered in poop. I ate poop!

Luke has decided that he doesn't like poo in his diapers and when he poos he pulls it out of his pants. We have been trying potty training but he runs and hides when he poos so we are never really sure when it happens. When we try to put him on the potty he flips out. Crying, screaming, yelling, he does not want to use the potty. I'm not sure how to move forward in potty training and I do not want to eat any more poop-corn!

The Shack and other things

2008-08-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

Wow! It's been a long time since I have written anything. I feel like a lot has been happening and at the same time nothing at all. Does that make sense? Here's a breakdown of whats going on...

I started reading The Shack. hmmm... It's been taking the Christian world by storm. If you haven't heard of it you soon will. And they are making a movie too. I am having a very hard time getting into it. People I have talked to have either LOVED it or HATED it. I have found myself indifferent and having a hard time sticking with it. I am a reader and will usually finish a book in a couple of days. This one is taking me awhile. I'm not going to give up on it. I'll finish it and then form my overall opinion of the book.
I got a MacBook. It's a huge adjustment to me and it's driving me nuts. I am such a PC person that I am having a very hard time with the switch. The mouse is driving me nuts!! There is no backspace key! No home, end, page up or page down. I am slowly adjusting but it's been more difficult than I though it would be.
I am starting school in the Spring semester. This fall is too rushed. We are waiting to hear if Paul is going to be back at his school teaching this fall and I don't want to add the financial stress of tuition if we are out of work. I promise I am not chickening out, I am doing this!
Alanna starts 2nd grade on Monday! I can't believe it, she is going up soooo fast. I know people say that all the time but it really is true.

Back from the wilderness

2008-07-23T17:24:00.000-07:00

I am back from camping. Sad to say it was not the relaxing time I was hoping it would be. DUH!!! I was camping with a 2 year old boy - there were rocks to throw, sticks to hit, boulder's to climb, rivers to fall into, dirt to eat. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a crazy "don't ever get dirty" type of mom. My major concern was bodily injury and death. At one point we even lost Luke. He was gone for maybe 5 minutes but it was the worst 5 minutes of my LIFE!! We also had huge rain and thunder storms for 3 out of the 7 days.

I think Luke had the time of his life. There were rocks to throw, sticks to hit, boulder's to climb, rivers to fall into and dirt to eat. Probably what heaven is like in his little boy mind. He was forever busy and didn't stop moving all day long.

Alanna had it kind of rough this year. There were no girls there her age. Just a bunch of boys that made things kind of hard. She was kind of lonely but was a super trooper and didn't really complain. I'm so pround of the young lady she is going up to be. I got to play lots of Rummy and Slap Jack with Alanna and we spent some good time together.

I have decided not to go camping next year. Mom needs a year off and a vacation that does not involve pooping in a hole for a week.

Going Camping

2008-07-10T18:06:00.000-07:00

I leave tomorrow morning to go camping for a week. No cell service, no computer, no technology. Just tents, campfires, redvines, smores, coffee, family, naps - it should be good.

Going Back to School

2008-07-01T20:09:00.000-07:00

I did it! Tonight I applied to 2 degree completion programs to finish my BA and then get my MBA. It is the great unfinished symphony in my life and it is time to finish!

We'll see what's going to happen. I bombed out my last year at Simpson. I didn't want to be there, I was hurt and tired and just wanted to get out. So, my GPA took a nose dive. I might have to be on academic probation! I'm very excited about going back to school. I'm ready to learn and be a nerdy student. I am so going to be one of the old ladies in the class that brings in 5 highlighters, has all their reading done the first week and a bunch of 3x5 card with questions all ready. I'm even going to sit front row - middle! I may even go get a backpack on wheels to complete the look. (True story - my Jr. year of high school I was in an accident and I bruised my spinal cord. We didn't have lockers at my school and I wasn't able to carry the weight of my books on my back so I had to use a backpack with wheels. HORRIBLE!!)

Summer Fun!

2008-06-30T22:22:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny how kids have to learn how to do things. What I mean is, things that would seam to come naturaly to humans, is something that we have to learn. We recently taught Luke how to roll down a hill. My kids are so dang CUTE!!!

Going Veggie

2008-06-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

In my quest to improve my health (both physical, mental and spiritual), I have gone veggie. Well, I am slowly transitioning to a veggie/whole foods lifestyle. Why? Well... I really like the taste of red meat but I do not like the way I feel after I eat red meat. After much reading and research this is something that I want to try to see if I notice an improvement in the way I feel. So far so good! I also have extensive family history of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, cancer, high cholesterol. YIKES!

It's Back!!!

2008-06-22T19:59:00.001-07:00

Caramelized pears, Gorgonzola, Fontina and Mozzarella cheeses, caramelized sweet onions and chopped hazelnuts. Topped with field greens tossed in our Gorgonzola ranch dressing

Last night I had dinner at California Pizza Kitchen and was SOOOO excited to see that it is back, the Pear and Gorgonzola Pizza. Thank you CPK for bringing this back!!

CRAZY!!

2008-06-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

Life is crazy since I got back from Florida. There are some amazing things that happened that I still haven't been able to write about. I'm going Veggie - lots to explain about that (so far it's been 5 days and I feel GREAT!). My 31st birthday was yesterday. Paul and I also had a huge personal blow and trying to process that. I also caught a cold coming back from Florida. I have NO TIME for a cold - yet I have one.

Florida 2

2008-06-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

I AM CHANGED! Last night we had our first night at the Florida Outpouring. I AM CHANGED. The right side of my body is buzzing - my hands, my feet, my face. Electricity has been pulsing through my body. This morning at the meeting the fire of God was all over me. There was a tunnel of fire around me. My hands and feet were covered with golden glitter/sparkles.

I have been battling with the experience vs. action. So what - I'm tingling, hot and laughing but what's the point. Then the Lord told me "This is the point!" At that point I knew that more then anything else I just needed to spend time with God. I needed to get over myself and enter into a intimate relationship relationship relationship with my loving Father. HA! I just wrote relationship 3 times and didn't even realize I was doing it. Just call me Chris Overstreet :)

I'm off to this evening's meeting.

Lakeland Florida part 1

2008-06-13T22:19:00.000-07:00

I typed this on the way to Lakeland, FL. But have only been able to post it till now...

Ok friends, I am on my way to Lakeland, FL to the Outpourings. Actually, I am on the plane to Denver then onto Florida. I want to blog about what is happening there, what I am feeling, testimonies, etc…

I am a bag of mixed emotions.
I am tired – I got up at 3:30 this morning to make my flight and I couldn’t sleep.
I am excited – I’m going on this trip with an amazing group of women. They are all people I admire, love and respect. God is doing amazing things in Lakeland and if nothing else, I get to be a witness.
I am nervous – Todd Bentley is a crazy man. He is a radical follower of Christ and I am going to be part of the craziness. I’m also nervous that nothing is going to happen. Not that I’m asking Todd or God to perform for me. I’m worried that nothing is going to happen because I am worried about getting in the way.

I’m not coming at this with a pauper mentality that because I enter the building that God stops what he is doing. What I am worried about that I will get in the way of what God is doing with me. I will get so caught-up with offense over a crazy lady dancing next to me that I miss what God is doing all around me. I know me and when I am uncomfortable in a situation, I will focus on some small trite happening and my focus will stay there because it is safe and I can exercise some control over it.

People being raised from the dead, blind people seeing, limbs growing back, getting up out of wheelchairs – those things are off my grid. They don’t fit comfortably in my little God box. All these things are happening – with medical conformations! The funny thing is I want to see all this stuff, I want to be a part of it and I am contending for these miracles in Bakersfield, CA. So why does going to Lakeland, FL and seeing it really happen make me nervous?

I do have an answer… I think if I see it, if I am a part of it (even being in the same room) then I can’t act like it doesn’t happen. When I see the person hurting in the grocery store, how can I, being a believer whose two greatest commandments are to love God and love my neighbor walk by that hurting person and say “not for them”. What kind of love is that? How can I justify leaving my kids and husband for 4 days, flying across the country just to see some cool stuff and not let it change my life forever?!? That is really why I am nervous. Am I ready to change my life forever? I hope so – otherwise, it is going to be a long weekend.

Boot Camp

2008-06-12T10:31:00.000-07:00

6 weeks ago - me and my wonderful best friend/cousin-in-law started Boot Camp. I didn't write about it because of my fear of failure. I didn't think I could do it. After the first day, I couldn't sit down on the potty without tears of pain rolling down my cheek. We were tested to see what group we would be put into - Advanced, Intermediate or Beginner. I was convinced that we would barely be in the beginning group and I was happy with that. My plans were crushed and we tested for the Intermediate group. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was 4 days a week of tourture!! The worst part was that I paid them to do this to me. I willingly came 4 days a week from 6 - 7am. To give you an idea of what a day in bootcamp would look like: high skips, 100 squats, 100 pushups, 100 sit-up, 100 modified pull-ups, run and sprints. That was ONE DAY!! I almost threw-up a couple of times. Today was our last day. We once again did our fitness test - We tested into the ADVANCED GROUP!!!

Here's my results:
33 push-ups in 1 minute
42 sit-ups in 1 minute
25 pull-ups in 1 minute
1 minute plank
12:13 - mile run (that was an intermediate time but a big improvement for me)

In case you didn't know, I RULE!!

Mom Day

2008-06-09T14:55:00.000-07:00

Today is mom day. I have Monday's off of work and I spend the day doing mom stuff. It really is my favorite day of the week although sometimes my toughest! Today was one of the tougher ones. Luke keeps stripping naked and peeing on the floor (3 times today). Seriously!! While I'm cleaning up pee, he throws his lunch all over the floor. AHHHH!!!! I ask him 100 times if he has to sit on the potty "No" I turn around and he's naked. Just got snacks and he threw crackers everywhere. All I wanted to do is go to the bathroom. Luke's in hassle time - again.

I have so much respect for you stay at home moms. You guys are amazing!

I have a dream!

2008-06-03T15:22:00.001-07:00

I have felt for so long that I have no idea what I should be doing with my life. What is my calling? What is my purpose? What is my destiny? For the first time in my life, those questions are not freaking me out. Then on Friday, I got some answers. I feel like I know, to some extent, where I am headed. Not only that, but the opportunity has presented itself for me to start walking down the path. Opportunity and destiny have collided. That is a beautiful thing!

This Sunday was also amazing! God is moving and women are being called, released and activated to follow their destiny!! Not to be held back by the class or gender but to rise-up as a unique creation of a loving Father. We have been given the tools and things needed to live our heart's desire. Women are not less-than. Our purpose is not second place. Rise-up women of God!!

May 27th

2008-05-26T19:35:00.000-07:00

Hello! It's May 27th and I live in Bakersfield, CA. Why the heck is it 60 degrees outside????

Happy Birthday Luke!

2008-05-25T21:24:00.000-07:00

Today we celebrated Luke's 2nd Birthday (his actual birthday was on May 20th). We did a fun party at the park with family and friends. Luke and his cousin Sophie share their birthday. Both born on May 20, 2006.

Luke is such a special guy. He's all boy and I love it! I had a lot of complications after I had our daughter in Alanna. Surgeries and multiple hospital stays in 2001. My doctor told me that I would have a very difficult time getting pregnant again and it was possible that I would not be able to have another baby. It took 8 months of trying and we were blessed.

I know so many people have struggled with infertility on a much larger scale. I wouldn't even call our story infertility. But, I do have some understanding of the fear and hope/hopelessness when told you may not be able to have a baby.

So, today we celebrated! My boy is 2 (believe me he is 2!!!). Thank you Lord for blessing us with Luke. He is amazing.

Rough Day

2008-05-21T14:28:00.000-07:00

Today has been a rough day for me. My dad came for a visit with my brother (J) and sister (K) on Sunday and Monday. My youngest siblings are 4 year old twins. My dad is raising these kiddos by himself, a single dad. (That's a whole other post...)

I had less than a stellar childhood. It was rough at my house growing up. My dad and I have barely been on speaking terms since I was 19 years old. So here it is 11 years later and still trying to figure out how I can relate to him in a way that is healthy for me and my family. I don't know how to do this. Every time I see him it sends me into an emotional tailspin. I put unrealistic expectations on him. No matter how much I don't want to admit it, when I'm with him there is a part of me that is just a little girl that wants her daddy to love her. Then the other part of me wants to kick him in his privates and run away because I know he couldn't catch me!

So, since I'm getting so healthy on the outside, I figured it's time to do some major work on the inside. I'm starting counseling and going through some inner healing. It's going to be hard but I know the timing is right and it's something I need to do to move forward.

Back from Vacation

2008-05-14T15:35:00.001-07:00

I am back from Virginia and my brother now hold a Jurists Doctorate (he's a lawyer)! I couldn't be more proud of him and everything he accomplished. Some highlights from my trip:

Staying up till 5:00 am talking with my little bro
Watching Ty graduate
Seeing my grandparents (they live in New York so I only see them every couple of years)
Hearing Sandra Day O'Connor speak at Ty's graduation
Touring Colonial Williamsburg
Seeing the graves of my relatives Pres. John Tyler, his daughter, etc...
Sticking my finger in a bullet hole from the Revolutionary War
Wine tasting
Yorktown
Thai food
Korean BBQ
a FAT fillet with blue cheese
meeting all of Ty's "family" from the last 3 years of his life on the East coast
Deciding that I never want to live in NYC
Coming home and hearing my kids yell, "MOMMY!!!!!"

Some things that were not so great from my trip:

exploding tire on the way to the airport in Burbank (1.5 hrs from my house)
Tornado watch in VA
Rain - everyday
60 degrees and a summer linen dress
JFK airport for 4 hours - way too loud and too much yelling!
broken laptop - it's getting a new LCD screen as we speak
forgot my camera!!!!
Coming home all my luggage went to Houston (fingers crossed I'll have it on Friday)

Paul did a GREAT job with the kids. When I got home, Paul had a dozen roses for me and the kids made me cards. It was the best homecoming EVER! I'm so blessed to have such an amazing husband!!!

Leaving for Vacation

2008-05-07T12:34:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I'm leaving for Virginia to watch my brother graduate from Law School at William and Mary. I am so proud of Tyler and everything that he has accomplished. After graduation, he's off to NYC. He is going to be working on Wall Street at the oldest law firm in America. He's going to be a big time corp attorney and will hopefully one day pay for my kids college tuition. I got awesome shoes to wear with a simple brown linen a-line dress. They are both from Banana Republic.

I am leaving Paul home with the kiddos. So he will be single dad for 6 days. I already spoke with Alanna's teacher & Luke's preschool teacher because I have no idea what state Alanna & Luke will be in by day 5. Last time I left him home alone with Alanna (I took Luke) when I came home she looked like she had butter smeared all over her teeth. She didn't brush her teeth for 4 days and Paul forgot to have her do it. Don't get me wrong, he's a GREAT dad, just sometimes the details escape him. Details like dental hygiene. (maybe I should cancel my trip...)

Knee Healing

2008-04-30T13:15:00.000-07:00

Just in case anyone was wondering - my knee was healed and I haven't had any problems with it since then. I'm up to 5 minutes running. That's a miracle too!

Yeah God!

Water Color

2008-04-29T22:12:00.000-07:00

This is a painting I did last night at my Water Color class. My first real painting on real water color paper, just in case you didn't know - water color paper is not normal paper it's special and Lena my teacher will tear your head off if you mix it up. Next step is my backgroud.

Some things...

2008-04-29T22:02:00.000-07:00

Some things that have consumed my life, thoughts and prayer life the last week...

sick Luke
throwing-up
running
stretching an already thin family budget
payroll
state & federal payroll liability payments
gas prices
milk prices ($6.50 a gallon!!!)
cell phones
my dad
going to Virgina for Ty's Law School Graduation
praying for miracles
beenup2
Quickbooks
State of CA education budgets
posting a podcast
baby gut (post baby belly)
Weight Watchers
painting/art
faith
unbelief
fear
healing
asthma
allergies
conventional medicine
alternative medicine

So that's a quick list of my life the last week.

Was it a dream?

2008-04-21T08:03:00.000-07:00

Saturday while I was running I twisted my knee and I was REALLY upset. I have always struggled with knee problems and even have had surgery. It hurt all day Sunday. I was doing everything I could not to throw myself a pity party. Last night while we were sleeping, the Lord woke up Paul and he begin to pray for my knee and laid hands on my knee. I guess we had this long conversation and and he spoke all these amazing words over me but, I don't remember a thing. I was asleep the whole time! What the heck? It was a ninja healing. By the way - my knee feels great today. I go running tomorrow...

Some things...

2008-04-20T20:41:00.001-07:00

Here are some things I love about going to church...

Pastor David - He's a good teacher and MAN is he SMART! David is passionate to follow after the things of God and imparts that wisdom on us.
Family - not just blood relation but really being part of the family of God
Getting to Worship God - actually this should be the beginning and end of my list. Is there no great honor in all the earth than worshiping the Creator?
Prayer - getting to pray for people and calling forth their destiny, crying tears with them, speaking words of healing and life and seeing people walk in freedom.

That's just a couple things I love about church - specifically being a part of my church. I would direct you to the website but it's not good and isn't an accurate portrait of how crazy we all are. Tonight, while Paul was being prayed for (there was a call to all teachers so Paul went right up and was at the front of the line) he was covered in gold dust. AWESOME!

PS - if you haven't seen it yet, you have got to see The Finger of God. It's documentary about crazy Christians going after the power of God. (I say crazy in love because I'm one of them too.)

Just because

2008-04-18T14:54:00.000-07:00

Just becasue I am a mom and I love my kids... Luke and I having fun with the web cam

Cutie Luke and a PB&J face.

Don't you want to pick him up give him tons of kisses and swing him around??

Princess Alanna - I didn't teach her to pose like this, it just comes natural for her.

She lost a tooth! Once again with the pose!